12/22/2025 11:48 PM
its back and its so fucking deep like a wound thats seeping and bleeding profusely. i just want somewhere to write in big, messy,
paragraphs that are just for me an nobody else except for like four other people. i have a big popular website but i haven't updated
it in a while and people have gotten worried and think i'm dead now. i don't really have the heart to say i'm not. that website
after all does feel like a completely different version of me, one that is almost insane. i feel like i am drifting into that
person again. it hurts, thats why i said its back. its always back, this cycle. i cant stand it anymore, i was born this way.
it'll never end, there is no hope, this is why i must end it all, because i am meant to. don't you get it? you just don't.
and you never will, you think i am delusional, schizophrenic or whatever you want to call it but i am just real, i am almost
psychic. i know the truth, the way, i know how my life must end, i know where my life will lead, i can see it. i am evolved.
just because you can't see yours doesn't mean i cannot see mine. but i am still disheartened by the fact i have to end my life.
this cycle i've been cursed with, it aches, it aches so fucking bad, i can't stand it anymore. i'm going over the edge. i just want to be free.
i want to be where the oceans are, i want to be in the afterlife, i just want to fucking live. not be in this society where im forced to work everyday
of my life. no, you have something coming if you think i am going to do this everyday.
